...Reentry...

Reentry is interesting. Leaving one world, in a sense, and returning to another. Life is so different from here to there and back again.

While reentry is not easy, I welcome it. It is all a part of this life altering experience. I struggled yesterday with the thought of reentering my life. I was struck with new emotions and fear. I don't want to leave behind what I just experienced. I'm figuring out, by God's grace, how to move forward without abandoning all that the Lord did in me, all that I experienced and all that I learned.

I don't really want to "reenter" as I think, to most of us, reentry means to readjust to life as usual; to the same way it was before. A return to what was normal. That is something I simply cannot do. There is a new normal now. There are higher standards to a specific calling. None of this has anything to do with me, really. I am not special. The calling on my life is not greater than anothers. I've said it over and over and over...there is only ONE special thing about me and that is that I am a daughter of the Most High King. Anything good in me comes from Him. Each of us has a calling on our life. A purpose. A plan. A conviction. This happens to be part of mine.

I believe my responsibilities have changed. Certainly I'm still responsible to love and serve my husband. I'm responsible to take care of him and to submit to him in our marriage. Serving the Lord and "wifing" Kevin are the greatest of my responsibilities at this point in my life. I'm honored and blessed to have those as my priorities :) And yes, I'm responsible to my other relationships with family and friends; to love, support, encourage, bless and minister. Of course I will continue my commitment to our church and my job; striving to be diligent and hardworking with the utmost of integrity. However, I do feel responsible to make specific changes to my life as well. I am now responsible to do my part to fight human trafficking and child exploitation. I am responsible to continue ministering in India and sharing the Gospel with prostitutes & orphans; showing love, compassion, grace and acceptance. I am responsible to spread the word and share my experiences with churches and organizations here, in America.

Do I have this all figured out? No. Will I struggle? Yes. Can I do it? Only through Him. None of this for my own glory but for the glory of the Lord. My glory is in Him alone.

I suppose I have, in fact, reentered. I've reentered with a new sense of purpose, focus and direction. My vision and strength will come from Christ and I will do my very best to humbly serve my gracious King.

...Home...

Home means two things to me now. Home is in Oregon. It's where my husband, family & friends are. Home is where my church and job are. Home is being with the people I love the most.

Home is also here, in India. A home that brings me peace in knowing who I am and where I came from. A home I love. A home where I'm certain the Lord wants me to continue serving. A home where I do not reside but that resides in me.

Goodbye to my Indian home...I will be back very soon and I will carry you with me in prayer.

Hello to my husband home ;) I will see you in 2 days!!

Thank you Lord for the blessings you've bestowed on me graciously. Thank you for the most amazing team and new friends. Thank you for using us for your glory alone.

Blessings,
>R<

...Planes, Trains, Automobiles, Boats & Bull Carts...

Yesterday we had the great honor of visiting a very remote village on an island called Riya Lanka. We drove for about 1 hour, hopped on a boat propelled by 2 Indian men "rowing" with long bamboo sticks and were finally carried through the desert and over the waters to the island on a bull cart. It was quite an experience :)

Once we arrived at the village, all of the people had lined the pathway and as we walked through they showered us with marigold petals while clapping and smiling. It was pure delight.

We sat in on a meeting with the head elders of the village to obtain information which India Partners needed about the needs there. This particular village has been devastated many times due to tsunami's & cyclones. The goal is to help them rebuild in a way that they will be able to better survive any natural disasters in the future.

I am grateful to have experienced so much of India in so many different ways. I'm grateful to have been immersed in my own culture and to have been so blessed while being home. My heart is fully at peace.

...Joy...

Joy is what you find when you look into the teethy grin of an orphaned child. Pure joy. They smile with joy that comes from the Lord even though they have nothing. They know they are sons and daughters of the most high King. They have something many of us do not. They have the ability to see past material things and superficial relationships. They are innocent. Pure. Loved. Joyful.

They are not orphaned in the way it really matters. They are owned by God. They are His beloveds. They are His gifts. He will lavish them with His love, grace, peace and JOY.

...Grace...

This past week has been full of grace. God is so gracious and has bestowed so much of His grace on us.

Today I am refreshed and renewed. I was finally able to speak to Kevin this morning and it was pure delight to hear his sweet voice and encouraging words. I am a woman in love and distance has indeed made my heart grow fonder ;)

Tonight we will take a 12 hour train ride to our next point of ministry. Please continue to pray that we will travel well, be healthy and that the Lord will use us to our fullest capacity.

Dwell on God's grace. Rejoice in His love. Delight in His joy.

Blessings,
>R<

...Finish & Finish Well...

This morning as we prayed over the conclusion of the Love & Light Conference, I prayed that we would finish and finish well.

I am amazed at the wisdom of Sandra, Kaytie & Cliff. I am honored to be on their team. I am honored to know them. I am honored that we share a passion for India. The Lord used their wisdom to touch these precious lives in a deep and impacting way. Today we heard testimonies from the men & woman and they shared how the Lord has changed their lives. They have endured pain, anguish, shame, disgrace and strife that some of us may never know; yet they express joy, love, compassion and dedication to their ministry. They define commitment. They define grace. They define love.

Finish & Finish Well.

...14...

Last night I had the honor to pray for a 14 year old prostitute. I held her small hands in mine, kissed her sweet cheek and prayed a covering of protection, love and grace over her.

I have never seen shame like I saw on her face. She dripped in it. Her eyes barely left the ground and she did not smile. She was steeped in humiliation, pain, embarrassment and disgrace. SHAME.

I prayed that she would know the love of God, see her true value and be freed from her chains. Her hopes are in those prayers. Her hope is in knowing that she is the daughter of the Almighty King. Her hope is His grace, His love, His forgiveness, His compassion. Her hope is in Him.

Her shame will be washed away by the blood of Jesus.

That is her hope.

...Safe & Found...

Yes, I do realize the saying is actually "safe & sound" but that does not clearly communicate what I want to say :)

We made it!! Praise the Lord. We travelled very well and arrived in India after over 25 hours of travel with all our luggage!!

We are safe.

I am found.

Kevin always calls India my roots. As usual, he is so right. I am found because I am back to my roots. It feels peaceful to be in India again. It feels right and lovely.

...Safe & Found...

...Today...

Precious family & friends...

PRAISE the LORD...it's finally here!! Kaytie, Sandra, Cliff & I leave for India this morning. We will be gone from September 4th - September 19th.

I wanted to express my heartfelt thanks to those of you who have prayed and helped to support this mission trip financially. Thank you. I'm not quite certain how to fully express the level of gratitude I feel so I trust that "Thank You" will suffice.

Please pray for safe travels and good health. Please pray that we would be effective in our ministry and that the Lord will use each of us to our fullest potential. Please pray for our families while we're away (I know Kevin is in great hands!!)

I leave today knowing we're covered in prayer. I leave today humbled, renewed and dressed in the full armor of God.

Much love and many blessings to each of you,

>R<

...The Rescued Part...

After we leave the red light district we'll be ministering at an orphanage that is home to roughly 300 children.

300.

Children.

300 children who have been rescued. Some may think of orphanages as depressing, sad and overall hopeless. That is so not true. The orphanage is the rescued part.

First, I was discarded. ABANDONED.

Next, I was taken to an orphanage. RESCUED.

An orphanage doesn't have to be depressing, sad and overall hopeless. The orphanage is the rescued part.

I know exactly what we'll find there...

Lovely faces.

Open hearts.

Joyful spirits.

We will love by ministering and minister by loving.

The orphanage is the rescued part.

...Love & Light...

I leave for India in 7 days!!

Throughout the first week in India we will be ministering at Sahaara. This is a refuge of sorts within the red light district in Mumbai. A safe place for women and children who have been affected by human trafficking and prostitution. We'll be hosting a conference called Love & Light. How perfect is that title? What could be better than bringing the love and light of Christ into such a dark place?

Here is what we'll cover:

• Spiritual Warfare
• Crisis Counseling
• Health Education
• Arts & Crafts
• Prayer
• Testimonies

I am so looking forward to spending time with the people who run this incredible ministry as they stare evil in the face every single day. Human trafficking is the 3rd largest illegal industry in the world. Children are being taken from their homes and forced into prostitution at extremely young ages; their innocence stolen. They need to know the love of Christ and they need a safe place to which they can escape. In Mumbai, Sahaara is that place.

Please be praying for the precious lives we'll encounter in the red light district and for all of our protection.

I know the Lord has a plan and I cannot wait to watch it unfold.

...14 Days...

In 14 days I will be joining these sweet faces above in India. I just cannot believe it's so close. I did some packing last night and Kevin and I talked a lot about how strange it will be for us to be apart for 15 days and about how exciting this is going to be. In the coming days I will post details of exactly what we'll be doing in India and about the 3 other people on my team.

I love that so many of you have chosen to be a part of this, whether it be because of your prayer support, financial support or by reading this blog.

I'm so grateful for the Lord's gentle and refining hand. I'm so grateful that He has led me to this point and has provided me with this opportunity to minister in the Red Light District to women and children rescued from human trafficking and to children in a Christian orphanage!!

...All...

The word "all" is defined as follows:

• everything
• one's whole interest, energy, or property
• wholly, entirely, completely

I was wondering today how willing I am to give my ALL to the Lord. In asking myself that question, I wanted to be certain I understood the full meaning of this word ALL.

Now that I understand what ALL means I must stop to ask myself the question again.

Am I willing to give everything; all my interest, energy & property; wholly, entirely and completely?

I believe the Lord wants ALL of us. Our entire heart. Our complete trust. Currently my life is mostly consumed with India as I prepare to go and serve, however, ALL of my life needs to be about serving, loving and giving COMPLETELY. Giving EVERYTHING. ALL of the time.

The path leading me to this trip has been so impacting and life changing that I cannot even imagine what the actual trip will entail. I am going to put forth every effort to give it ALL to serve the Lord everyday.

...The Power of Prayer...

In the last 2 days I have seen the Lord move in an incredible way...

08.04.09

• 10:20 am - Received an email informing me I had to submit the remainder of my India funds ($1,215) by 08.07.09 followed by a lot of encouragement that this WAS possible.
• 10:21 am - Worried & doubted that coming up with $1,215 was actually possible.
• 10:22 am - I started praying.
• 3:25 pm - Sent an email to my church prayer team asking them to pray
• 4:10 pm - Sent an email to some of the incredible praying women in my life asking them to pray
• 6:00pm - Received a call from my Pastor informing me that $300 had come in the offering for my trip.

08.05.09

• 8:47 am - Sent an email to some family & friends requesting more prayer
• 8:58 am - Received a $125 commitment
• 9:00 am - Received a $500 commitment
• 9:01 am - Sat in my office amazed that I only had $290 left to raise...called my husband REJOICING! Called Kaytie, my team leader, and screamed with her on the phone :)
• 9:16 am - Updated my facebook status: "...only $290 to go!!! Praise the Lord...He is THE provider!!"
• 10:56 am - Received a facebook message from a good high school friend who I haven't seen in 11 years..."Hey, I've got $290.00 to give you!"
• 10:56 am COMPLETELY BLESSED AND FULLY FUNDED!!!!!!!!!!

I have said, all along, that I'm certain the Lord wants me in India this September. The enemy has attacked full force but he is no match for our God...KING of Kings...LORD of Lords...CREATOR of heaven & earth.

SUBMIT yourself to the Lord wholly and humbly.

HE WILL PROVIDE.

HE WILL LEAD.

HE WILL BLESS.

...PRAISE THE LORD...

As of yesterday morning, the actual amount needed to turn in by Friday was $1,215. As of 8:30 this morning, the actual amount needed to turn in by Friday is $290.

God is so faithful.

PRAISE THE LORD.

Thank you to those of you who have generously and obediently sacrificed to give and pray.

29 days to go.

...Prayerfully, Faithfully...

The financial deadline is rapidly approaching as all funds for my mission trip to India are due at the end of this week!! I still need to bring in approximately $1,200. I am prayerfully, faithfully TRUSTING the Lord...KNOWING He will provide. I need your help...please pray with me.

...3...

There are 3 areas I've asked for support from my family and friends...here's an update...

• Accountability - The Lord has been doing a lot of work on my heart in the last few weeks. I'm learning more and more about complete surrender. I want to be certain the Lord is able to use me according to His will in India so I'm committed to allow Him to work on many areas of my life that have been in great need of some polishing. Thank you to those of you who have gently held me accountable as I need you to be a part of this process.
• Financially - God is SO good. I'm grateful and amazed at the obedience and generosity of so many of you. I'm excited to have you on board with me as, TOGETHER, we are committed to serving the Lord by spreading His word and love in India. Currently I still need to raise about $1,400 and I trust the Lord knowing He will continue to provide.
• Prayerfully - I know you're praying and I cannot thank you enough. Please continue to pray for my team, the people we'll encounter and all the Lord has in store. Please pray that the finances will come together and that I will continue to grow in my faith.

I'm certain this is only the beginning of our work in India together. Will you be coming with me on my next trip? Will you plan one of your own? I wonder what the Lord has in store for India...I know, according to His word, He will be faithful to complete the work He's started.

Blessings on each of you...Reshma

...Hosea 10:12...

"Plow new ground for yourselves, plant righteousness and reap the blessing your devotion to Me will produce! It's time for you to turn to Me, your Lord, and I will come and pour out blessing on you."

I am clinging to this verse. God is doing a major work on my heart and in my life this week and I am so grateful. He is so faithful. The refining process can be painful and difficult but I am committed to trusting in the Lord and allowing Him to mold me into the woman He wants me to be. Let's be clear...I am no champ. I've fought and fought to avoid turning my life entirely over to Him but He is so gracious and has granted me another opportunity to walk closely with Him. SO gracious.

I am going to walk with Him.

One foot in front of the other...here WE go...

...Patience...

When I was little my mom used to sing this song to me and my brothers...

"Have patience, have patience. Don't be in such a hurry. Have patience, have patience. You tend to start to worry. Remember, remember, that God is patient too and think of all the times that others had to wait for you."

As you can imagine this song used to infuriate my brothers and I ;)

I've been thinking about patience lately and my lack of it. I leave for India in 60 days. I am anxious, excited, nervous and IMPATIENT. I just want to get there already. However, I believe that every day leading up to September 4th is another day and opportunity for me to prepare myself spiritually, another opportunity for Him to refine me and, most of all, another opportunity to minister wherever I am. I believe that every day matters; all 60 minutes of every hour and all 24 hours of every day. As I've said before, I believe God is a God of purpose. He is deliberate. India is not my only opportunity to minister and serve. Each day I have the incredible opportunity to minister to my family, friends, co-workers and strangers. Every day matters.

I'm convicted.

I want every day of my life to be purposeful and deliberate.

I choose to start today. Today I choose to be patient and to see what is right in front of me right now.

Of course India is going to be on my mind every day, however, MINISTRY is what needs to be in the forefront of my mind. Ministry at the grocery store, in my office, with my family...etc...

...Thought...

My dad is one of the most thoughtful people in my life. While I'm blessed to be surrounded by many thoughtful people, he stands out as one who is extra kind, generous, loving and thoughtful. Not only does he enjoy gift giving but he takes the process very seriously; he is patient and puts a lot of thought into what gift he wants to give, what the reason behind it is and how it will bless the recipient.

The photo above is of my most recent gifts from him. The Indian Rupee is the original official currency of India. My dad, being the generous man he is, went to his bank and specially ordered some Indian Rupees to give to me before I go to India. He wanted to help me in raising funds for my trip and was very creative in his delivery of said funds :)

I'm leaving for India in 66 days and I so appreciate the thought my dad put into his generous gift of support. Thank you dad, I love you. ...R...

Ask & Wait...

I prayed for almost 1 year that the Lord would provide an opportunity for me to go to India in order to serve. I felt desperate, really. I kept saying, over and over, "I have to get there, I just have to get there". I was often overcome by the butterflies in my stomach as I sat thinking about when and how said opportunity would present itself. I googled my eyeballs out researching different ministries until I felt the Lord say "ASK and WAIT". Ask & wait??? What does that mean? Ask & wait??? Apparently it means just what it sounds like. Ask & wait.

So I asked and waited...this is how it played out...

I asked my uncle, who has traveled to India many times, if he had any trips planned in the near future...his response was no but that he and my aunt had a dear friend who was involved in an incredible ministry in India and they would introduce us. Then I waited and we met. I wonder if they knew how huge of an impact this introduction would prove to have on my life. Kaytie works for India Partners (a Christian ministry) and has an enormous amount of passion for India. She's a faithful, strong, courageous woman of God. I admire her in such a way. We met in a Starbucks and I felt the most incredible connection to her as she shared with me her love for India. Could someone feel about India the way I feel?? This woman is PASSIONATE about India. I cried and was overcome as she told me about all the Lord is doing in India. And then...then...she invited me to go with her in September of 2009. SHE invited ME. I almost wasn't able to drive home. I raced home to Kevin and exploded with the incredible stories and information Kaytie shared with me!! I was a disaster...excited, nervous, emotional!! Was this THE opportunity the Lord had provided? It was.

Kevin and I spent the next few days praying and praying. We were driving to work one morning, in the midst of rush hour traffic, and I asked him if he thought I should go. My blessed husband said he was certain the Lord had made it clear that it was time for me to go...finally time.

And so...I'm going.

Reading is Good...

This is a photo of some of my very favorite books. Most of them are written by Indian authors and are about Indian culture but there are a few based in Pakistan & Afghanistan. I love reading books based on Indian culture because I learn so much from every page. Because I was adopted I don't have any biological information or medical history. This doesn't create a void in my life but has stirred some curiosities from within. I've learned so much about my history by learning about the country and city from which I came. When you know your biological family you don't question why your hair is blond or your eyes are blue...most of the time you can look to family members and see exactly why you're tall or short or athletic or not. This is not a luxury I've ever had. Someday I will be a mom and I will know the joy of seeing yourself in someone else...I can't imagine how incredible that will be. Below are a few things I've learned about myself and my culture through reading my Indian books...

*Because of the area where I was born I am known as a Bengali
*Bengali's are known for their shiny, black hair
*Bengali's are known for being petite
*Bengali's are known for their beautiful singing voices
*Bengali's are known for their big, dark eyes
*Bengali's are known for having a fear of being cold

When I found out about these 5 main features of Bengali's I was overwhelmed. This is the reason I continue to read and read and read. Peace. Comfort. Knowledge.

From Hate to Love...

In the last 29+ years I have become, what you might call, Americanized. Actually, seeing as I only spent the first 3 months of my life in India, maybe I was never "Indian-ized"...maybe no transformation took place the way it does for those who immigrate at a more established age? None the less, I am Indian by heritage. Statistically, in Calcutta in 1980, only 1 out of 10 girls born would live to be 1 year.
1.
Out of 10.
Unbelievable.
I am so grateful to have grown up here. My intention is not to be dramatic or arrogant. My intention is to express the deep level of humility and appreciation that comes with, not only, surviving impossible conditions but also being blessed with a remarkable family and growing up in a country with limitless opportunities. This is how I feel today but I didn't always feel this way. For most of my younger years, I struggled with being different from everyone else I knew...being a different color, having a different name, having a different history...etc. All of my family looked alike. I stood out like a sore, brown thumb ;) I was told how incredible my story was...how blessed I was to be alive, how grateful I should be. I had such a great upbringing and wouldn't want it any other way but most kids don't want to be unique. Most kids want to match...blend in. Blending in is not something I did well.
I've changed. These days I want to declare to the world that I am Indian!! You could say I've gone from hate to love with regards to my Indian-ness. The Lord has worked on my heart and helped me to realize how important ones heritage is. Within the last year I have been indulging in Indian books, movies, articles, clothing, jewelry and food. I'm getting a late start in understanding my Indian culture but I plan to learn all that I can. ...r...

Old Posts...

I'm going to add some posts to this blog that are from another blog I've maintained since August 2007. I think these posts are a definite reflection of what the Lord has been doing in my heart, with regards to my desire to learn more about my Indian culture. For those of you who double dip on my old blog and this one, I apologize for the duplication of information :) ...r...

Purpose

I believe each of us has a purpose. While I have not always been committed to fulfilling the purpose God has for me, I definitely believe He has always had one in mind. 

As mentioned in the description of my blog, I was born in Calcutta, India. I was abandoned in the slums that over populate this city and eventually taken to a local orphanage. I lived the first 3 months of my life in this orphanage and was then adopted by Christian parents dedicated to serving the Lord and raising their children to do the same. I firmly believe I have the family God always intended me to have. I don't believe I was lucky. I don't believe I was unlucky. Life is not perfect but I believe there is always a purpose. 

What is my purpose? I'm not entirely sure I could give a thorough answer that I would believe to be completely accurate. The truth is that I don't know the details of the purpose of my life and how they will play out day by day. What I do know is that the Lord blessed me with a powerful testimony and much more than I deserve. I know that the foundation of my purpose in this life will be to walk with the Lord and to minister to those around me on a daily basis.

Over a year ago the Lord laid India on my heart. I knew He had a purpose in mind but I wasn't clear what exactly it was. I decided to pray and to learn as much about India as I could by watching documentaries, reading books, listening to music, watching movies, reading articles...etc... I tried to get my hands on everything possible that had anything to do with India. A few months ago the Lord made it very clear to me that He wanted me to go to India to minister. I had no idea how He would make that happen but continued to pray. Through a series of connections, which I'll elaborate on later, I was introduced to an incredible woman who is leading a team to India in September of 2009. She invited me to come and now I know that this is a purpose God wants me to fulfill. I'm excited and terrified but, most of all, I'm certain this is the path the Lord wants me to walk down and I'm committed to setting my fears aside and following through. ...r...